How to Forgive Those Who Hurt You: A Biblical Guide for Christians - February, 2025

Hurt is an inevitable part of life. Whether from family, friends, colleagues, or even fellow Christians, the pain caused by betrayal, rejection, or offense can leave deep scars. But as followers of Christ, we are called to forgive—even when it feels impossible.So, how do we truly forgive? Does forgiveness mean forgetting? What if the offender isn’t sorry? In this post, we’ll explore what the Bible teaches about forgiveness, why it’s essential for our spiritual health, and practical steps to help you let go of bitterness and walk in peace.

What Is Forgiveness?

Forgiveness, according to the Bible, is the act of releasing resentment and the desire for revenge, even when someone has deeply wronged you. It doesn’t mean excusing their behavior or pretending it never happened. Instead, it is a conscious decision to obey God and let go of the burden of unforgiveness.

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Biblical Definition of Forgiveness

Forgiveness is a command: Jesus teaches in Matthew 6:14-15 (NIV), “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”

Forgiveness brings freedom: Holding onto grudges only hurts you, not the offender. Ephesians 4:31-32 instructs us to “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger… forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”

Why Do We Get Hurt?

People hurt others for various reasons—selfishness, misunderstanding, jealousy, or even unintentional mistakes. The pain is especially deep when it comes from those we love and trust, such as family, close friends, or fellow believers.Even Jesus, the Son of God, was betrayed by one of His closest disciples, Judas (Luke 22:47-48), and denied by Peter (Luke 22:61-62). Yet He chose to forgive, teaching us by His example.When we hold onto hurt, it takes root in our hearts, leading to bitterness, anger, and even physical stress. Forgiveness isn’t for the benefit of the offender—it’s for your healing.

What Does the Bible Say About Forgiveness?

Biblical Characters Who Were Hurt and Forgave

Joseph (Genesis 50:19-21) Betrayed by his brothers, sold into slavery, and wrongly imprisoned, Joseph had every reason to hold a grudge. But instead, he forgave his brothers, recognizing that God used his suffering for a greater purpose.

Jesus (Luke 23:34) -As He was crucified, Jesus prayed for those who nailed Him to the cross: “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” This ultimate act of forgiveness set the standard for us as His followers.

How Often Should a Christian Forgive?

Peter once asked Jesus, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.” (Matthew 18:21-22).

This response emphasizes that forgiveness should be a lifestyle, not a one-time act. We must continually forgive, just as God continually forgives us.

Should You Forgive If the Offender Is Not Sorry?

Many people struggle with forgiving someone who refuses to apologize or change. However, Jesus forgave those who crucified Him, even though they never repented. Paul reminds us in Romans 12:19: “Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord.”

Forgiveness doesn’t mean allowing continued abuse or staying in harmful situations. But it does mean releasing bitterness and trusting God to handle justice.

Why Should a Christian Forgive?

Forgiveness is a command from God (Colossians 3:13).

We must forgive others as the Lord forgave us.

Forgiveness leads to personal freedom. Unforgiveness keeps you in bondage to bitterness, while forgiveness releases peace.

Unforgiveness gives the enemy a foothold. Ephesians 4:26-27 warns that holding onto anger gives the devil a foothold in our lives.

Forgiveness allows God’s purpose to unfoldJust as Joseph’s suffering led to his destiny, God can turn our pain into purpose when we trust Him.

How to Forgive When You Are Deeply Hurt

1. Acknowledge the Pain – It’s okay to admit that you’re hurt. Suppressing emotions can make it harder to heal. Talk to God honestly about your pain (Psalm 34:18).

2. Pray for Strength to Forgive – Forgiveness is not always easy, but God gives grace to those who ask. Philippians 4:13 says, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”

3. Release the Offender to God – Decide to leave justice in God’s hands. Pray for the offender, even if it’s difficult (Matthew 5:44).

4. Set Healthy Boundaries – Forgiveness doesn’t mean tolerating continued mistreatment. Set boundaries when necessary, while still maintaining a forgiving heart.

5. Choose to Forgive Daily Forgiveness is a process, not a one-time decision. Keep surrendering the hurt to God whenever it resurfaces.

Prayer for Grace to Forgive

“Heavenly Father, I come before You with a heart that is hurting. I know that You have commanded me to forgive, just as You have forgiven me. But Lord, I confess that it is difficult. Please give me the strength to release this pain and let go of resentment. Fill my heart with Your love and peace. Help me to trust that You are my healer and that justice belongs to You. I surrender this burden to You, Lord. In Jesus’ name, Amen.”

There are more prayer points on forgiveness and other life issues at the Deliberate Christian Prayer Bank. It is a Prayer Bank paid for by Christ and freely accessible to everyone.

Christian Books on Forgiveness

Total Forgiveness by R.T. Kendall

The Bait of Satan by John Bevere

Forgiving What You Can’t Forget by Lysa TerKeurst

Christian Songs About Forgiveness

Forgiveness – Matthew West

Losing – Tenth Avenue North

Come to the Altar – Elevation Worship

Final Thoughts: Share Your Story!

Forgiving someone who has deeply hurt you is not easy, but it is possible through Christ. Have you struggled with forgiveness? How did you find healing? Share your thoughts in the comments below!

If you need prayer or guidance, feel free to reach out. Let’s grow together in God’s grace. If this post blessed you, share it with someone who might need it.

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