How to overcome unconscious bias in parenting
It’s okay to be surprised at what you are about to read. Being surprised is an indication that you are not aware of it. Being unaware is however not a reason to believe that it does not exist.
Unconscious bias is an attitudinal default we demonstrate in how we feel and think about others because of a stereotypical belief or a goal we are not aware of.
Christians and non-Christian parents can demonstrate unconscious bias, but our focus is on unconscious bias in Christian parenting.
There are many achievements that you are proud of and you would want your children to replicate and even do better.
There are also many achievements you wish you had to your name, that you would subconsciously want your children to achieve as compensation for your inability to achieve them.
Parents drive these desires daily in their parenting, even though many are unaware that they do. This is what unconscious bias in parenting is.
While some of these biases might be good, others might be detrimental to our overall goal of raising Christ-like children.
Take this short unconscious bias in parenting test (These few questions were selected from the DCL unconscious bias in Christian parenting test, if you are interested in taking the comprehensive test, click the button below
- Are you struggling to accept who God has created your child(ren) to be?
- Do you find yourself complaining daily about your child(ren) not being like you?
- Are you always scoring yourself low every time you hear other parents talk about their children’s talents?
- Do you wish you can raise your child(ren) to be exactly like your friend’s child(ren) and be the one others look to as the parent with the ideal child(ren)?
Despite being Christian parents, we sometimes manifest these biases, fighting the very purpose of raising Christ-like children, that we seek to achieve.
Your children are unique creations of God. They have traits from their father and mother, but they are not exactly like any of you.
Acknowledging and accepting this is vital for deliberate Christian parenting. God has a unique plan and process to achieve his divine purpose for their lives.
Many parents are living their unconscious biases, fighting God’s plan for their children in parenting
Some parents are living their unconscious biases fighting God’s purpose for their children in parenting
Others are living their unconscious biases fighting the process God has chosen to achieve his plan and purpose for their children
While you might be quick to absolve yourself of any of these biases, remember they are biases because we are unaware that they exist.
If Mary the mother of Jesus, who had a divine encounter where the purpose of God for her son was revealed before his birth, demonstrated unconscious bias and almost pushed him out of the divine plan, how much more you?
Wherever you might belong, whether you are struggling with God’s plan, purpose or process for your child(ren), one truth remains, no man wins God in a tug of war.
Overcoming unconscious bias in parenting starts with acknowledging that it exists and that we might be unaware of it.
The next step is going to God in surrender to ask for him to reveal any way we are pushing for any unconscious agenda that has no place in his plan, purpose and process for our children.
Being a deliberate Christian parent is one sure way of overcoming unconscious bias in parenting.
A deliberate Christian parent is a parent who is consciously depending on the help of God to raise Christ-like children who fulfil God’s purpose according to his plan and process.
Regardless of where you are in your parenting journey, it is never too late to start doing it right. Click the button below to become a Deliberate Christian parent.